How to Help When She Doesn’t Want Help

How to Help When She Doesn’t Want Help

 July 12, 2019

Two women are hugging and smiling for the camera.

As a caregiver, you’re driven to help your senior as much as you possibly can.
But just because you’re willing to help her, that doesn’t mean she’s excited about the idea. Here are some things you can do about the problem you’re facing to evaluate what’s going on and to put possible solutions in place.


Get Some More Information

You might need to do some digging into this problem. Stepping back a little bit and observing what’s going on can help, especially if you and your senior don’t live together. There’s almost always something else going on that you don’t know about yet. Figuring out what that is can be the challenge.


What Else Is Going On?

Are there other situations at play? Perhaps there are other family members helping out and your senior refuses just your help. Or maybe she refuses everybody’s help. Her health might be great right now and that could be giving her the confidence to keep you at arm’s length. Or she might have some health challenges that she’s trying to keep quiet.


Sit Down with Your Senior

You can speculate all you want, but the fact of the matter is that you have got to sit down with your elderly family member and talk this through. You might have tried this in the past, and maybe it didn’t go as well as you would have liked. Listen to what she says and share with her what you’ve observed and what you’re thinking. You might be off base, or you might be more on target than you realize.


Be Persistent, but Not Annoying

You do need to keep trying. Some aging adults refuse help from family caregivers because they worry you’ll back away and stop helping, leaving them in the lurch. If your senior still won’t accept your help, try offering help from elder care providers. These professionals can do so much for her and she may be more comfortable allowing them to assist her. The key here is that you don’t want to give up, but you can’t force her to accept your help, either.

There are so many variables that can be factored into your senior’s decision. She may not want any help at all or it might be your help that makes her feel uncomfortable. Either way, you might be able to find a little bit of balance until her health or something else changes.


If you or an aging loved-one are considering hiring Home Care in Bloomfield, PA, please contact the caring staff at In-Home Quality Care today.
Serving the Greater Pittsburgh Area since 1990! Call 412-421-5202